Gib mir mein Herz zurück! Über emotionale (Co-) Abhängigkeit

Auszug aus meinem Tagebuch, 03.02.17:

Man kann im Prinzip sagen, dass ich mich über Jahre hinweg psychisch und physisch selbst misshandelt habe. Weißt du, andere Menschen mit einem geringen Selbstwertgefühl sind vielleicht ein bisschen schüchtern oder haben Probleme damit, sich gegenüber Anderen zu öffnen. Ich dagegen habe das Gefühl, mich selbst dafür bestrafen zu müssen. Oder besser gesagt lasse ich mich durch andere Menschen bestrafen. Mache mich z.B. mehr oder weniger bewusst emotional von jemandem abhängig. So ist es auch dazu gekommen, dass ich über 2 Monate bei einem Mann blieb, der mir von Anfang an nichts als Schaden zufügte. Ich frage mich, ob ich jemals in der Lage dazu sein werde, eine anständige Beziehung zu führen.

Harte Worte. Ich schrieb diesen Eintrag an einem Tag, an dem es mir sehr schlecht ging und an dem Schuldgefühle und Flashbacks auf mich einprasselten wie Platzregen. Nüchtern betrachtet finde ich es sehr traurig, solche Tagebuch-Einträge zu lesen. Ich würde an guten Tagen nie so von mir reden. Doch tatsächlich spielt emotionale Abhängigkeit bzw. co-Abhängigkeit eine Rolle in meinem Leben. Ich will euch diese beiden Begriffe erläutern und von meiner Sicht darauf berichten.

Die emotionale Abhängigkeit in einer zwischenmenschlichen Beziehung

äußert sich in übertriebener Angst davor, von dem Partner verlassen zu werden. Diese Angst führt zur Aufopferung der eigenen Interessen und zur Anpassung des Auftretens ihm gegenüber. Der abhängige Mensch verhält sich unterwürfig und versucht alles, um den Partner bei sich zu halten. Bis zu einem gewissen Grad ist das in fast jeder Beziehung normal und ja auch irgendwie Teil der Liebe. Im Extremfall aber kann es zur völligen Selbstaufgabe führen. Meist hat eine „krankhafte“ emotionale Abhängigkeit tiefergehende Ursachen, wie ein sehr geringes Selbstwertgefühl oder eine Persönlichkeitsstörung. In solch einem Fall kann es sein, dass demjenigen bewusst wird, wie schlecht die Beziehung eigentlich ist, Er/sie es jedoch trotzdem nicht schafft, sie zu beenden.

Der Begriff der co-Abhängigkeit

wird meist in Verbindung mit Alkohol- oder Drogensucht gebracht. Man geht davon aus, dass der Partner oder eine Bezugsperson des Abhängigen durch sein/ihr Verhalten seine Sucht (unbewusst) unterstützt. Allerdings ist die Art der Sucht im Grunde genommen nebensächlich. So gibt es co-Abhängigkeit auch bei Beziehungen bzw. der Sucht nach der Liebe des Partners.
Der Partner einer emotional Abhängigen Person empfindet ihr „Klammern“ meistens als belastend. Bei co-Abhängigen Partnern ist eher das Gegenteil der Fall. Sie empfinden die Verehrung und Idealisierung der Beziehung als positiv, wodurch sie die Sucht des Anderen weiter anheizen. Oft wollen sie die Liebe des Partners sogar kontrollieren, da sie selbst Probleme mit diesem Thema haben und Angst davor haben, der Liebe ihren freien Lauf zu lassen. Co-Abhängige versuchen, unverarbeiteten Schmerz aus der Vergangenheit zu übertönen, indem sie anderen Menschen aus ihren Problemen helfen und ihr „Seelsorger“ sein wollen. Ein weiterer Begriff, der hier oft fällt, ist die Symbiose bzw. ein symbiotisches Beziehungsmuster. Da das allerdings zu viel wäre, um es in einem Beitrag zu behandeln, werde ich darüber irgendwann anders schreiben.

Eine Geschichte, die das vielleicht anschaulicher macht:

Bisher kam ich genau einmal im Leben in den Genuss, echte, nicht auf Freundschaft basierte Liebe für jemanden zu empfinden. Dieses Gefühl ist mir für gewöhnlich fremd und dementsprechend war es auch alles andere als einfach, damit umzugehen. Es war so überwältigend und schön für mich, dass ich alles tun wollte, um es beizubehalten. Und das trotz einer eigentlich ausweglosen Beziehungssituation, denn der Mr. war bereits vergeben. Er aber wies mich nicht ab, sondern nahm meine Klammer-Haltung irgendwann selbst an und unterstützte mich darin. So wurde ich nach und nach emotional abhängig – zunächst von dem Gefühl der Verliebtheit, dann von der Person selbst – und verbaute es mir/uns dadurch, dieser Liebe eine echte Chance zu geben.

Ich erinnere mich daran, dass ich ihm oft gesagt habe, was uns und vor allem ihn aus meiner Sicht besonders macht. Das genoss er, sodass wir irgendwann beide anfingen, etwas zu verherrlichen, das eigentlich gar nicht so herrlich war. Er war mein co-abhängiger, verbotener Geliebter, wie romantisch. Nicht. Ich hielt verzweifelt an einer Vorstellung fest, die niemals der Realität entsprach. Und er unterstützte mich darin. Ich würde fast sagen, dass bei uns irgendwann co-Abhängigkeit und Abhängigkeit ineinander übergingen, weil wir uns in unseren Problemen und Umgangsformen sehr ähnelten. Aber keiner von uns schaffte es, dem ein Ende zu setzen, obwohl wir wussten, es konnte nicht so weitergehen. Die Nähe-Distanz-Problematik, die so entstand, machte mich ziemlich kaputt, was ich aber erst jetzt im nüchternen Zustand erkenne. Er hingegen hat mir schon ziemlich früh geraten, mir nochmal zu überlegen, ob es mit ihm einen Wert hat. Falls der werte Herr das hier liest – wir hätten uns das wohl gegenseitig fragen sollen, mein Lieber ;D

Kann eine (co-)abhängige Beziehung gerettet werden?

Die Abhängigkeit in einer Beziehung kann zu Beginn sehr schön sein kann, weil sie diesen „Romeo-und-Julia-Charakter“ besitzt. Sobald jedoch der co-abhängige Partner die emotionale Abhängigkeit des Anderen bemerkt, wird es für beide Seiten immer anstrengender und läuft zunehmend bergab. An dieser Stelle kann eingegriffen werden, allerdings nur, wenn beide Partner diese Einsicht bekommen und bereit sind, sich gemeinsam aus der Abhängigkeit „herauszuentwickeln“. Auf diesem Weg kann eine (co-)abhängige Beziehung mit viel Arbeit gerettet werden. Unternimmt man allerdings nichts dagegen und lässt die Beziehung weiter vor sich herplätschern, wird es in den meisten Fällen damit enden, dass beide Teile daran mehr oder weniger kaputt gehen. Meine eigene Meinung ist, dass man an dem genannten Wendepunkt einen sauberen Cut machen- und sich auf die eigene Entwicklung konzentrieren sollte. Die Möglichkeit, dass die Zeit irgendwann eine neue Chance bietet, wird ja weiterhin bestehen. Das ist in diesem Moment schmerzhaft, allerdings verglichen mit den anderen Möglichkeiten die harmloseste Variante.

Ich beziehe mich in diesem Beitrag auf gewaltlose Beziehungen. Sobald häusliche Gewalt im Spiel ist, sieht die Sache noch einmal anders aus.

 

 

 

 

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